Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting recommendation column. Have a query for Care and Feeding? Submit it right here.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My ex placed on a whole lot of weight through the years. Since the divorce, although, she’s instantly skinny, and I’m anxious her consuming and clothes habits are setting a foul instance for my daughter. My daughter has just lately gained weight, and I feel it’s from a foul meals surroundings at her mother’s home. My ex apparently now goes for an extended bike journey every single day with our daughter, who now spends her weekends at our home anxious about lacking these rides. She is at all times making an attempt to get us to go for walks as a substitute, however I work nights and my spouse has a toddler, so an after-dinner stroll isn’t sensible for us.
At a current household celebration, my ex ate a couple of carrots and nothing else all afternoon. I’m anxious she’s taking Ozempic for vainness causes …
since she by no means had that self-control earlier than and she or he misplaced the burden so quick. She wore a bikini within the pool, one thing she by no means did once we had been collectively. My spouse refuses to speak about my ex, though she does agree with me about the best way she is dressing. I don’t need my daughter to choose up trashy dressing or poor self-control from her mother. What do I do about this?
—Dismayed Dad
Dear Dismayed,
Nothing! You do nothing. Your ex-wife’s obvious want to vary her physique and turn into extra lively after your divorce is about as stunning as a dawn, and the way she’s doing it’s none of your corporation. You fear that your daughter’s weight achieve is because of “a foul meals surroundings,” however it sounds to me as if her mother has helped her embrace a wholesome household exercise and she or he’s desperate to strive that exercise along with her dad—solely to be shot down by a man who’s suspicious for no obvious purpose.
Perhaps your concern, although extraordinarily poorly expressed, is that your ex is closely into food plan tradition and also you’re afraid that this may trigger your daughter to ascertain an unhealthy relationship with meals. If so, what are you able to do about it? You can make certain the best way you take care of meals and physique picture in your own home is wholesome and useful. So, for example, you may cease obsessing about your daughter’s weight, or your ex’s, or anybody’s garments, for cripes’ sake. Take a touch out of your present spouse and cease complaining to her about your previous one. Try to cease being so bizarre about all this! Try being regular for a change! It will do you some good.
—Dan
